One Woman's Trash

In the Eighties, my relatives from Iran would always bring us designer goods from the old country. I was barely double-digits when Grandma got me this red Chanel bag. Now it took me another decade, I kid you not, to have it dawn on me that it could be maybe, possibly, fake. It took Canal St in NYC to educate me. Except even then, it was hard to believe. Bootlegs from Iran in the Eighties were sooooo well made! This thing looks totally real, though the interior, in its plainness (and labellessness) gives it away. But it’s in perfect condition, never lugged, with detachable strap and all, all quilted real-leather goodness, and I bet you 9 out of 10 people at least will be sure it’s real. Anyway, here’s a Canal Street price for a superior product that is so so so so now:

$50.00 or best offer

These booties were called “Mayhem Slashed Booties” and that may be a big reason I wanted them ($180 from Pixie Market). How punk rock are these? How uncool old person of me is it to call things “punk rock?!” Ugh. Well, they are awesome. They zip in the back and are slashed in the front, as you can see, and I love them so, so don’t buy them I can keep them.

$70.00 or best offer / Size 8.5

Oh, hello, Vanessa Bruno bag, purchased in Soho (Steven Alan) around 2000! You are sparkly and blue and kinda beaten up (some ink marks inside too—I’m a writer, shut up). This bag is equal parts adorbs and badass, thanks to some wear, and now it must belong to an awesome girl who has the best tattoos ever or might one day.

$40.00 or best offer

Opening Ceremony is my ultimate go-to when I am not in the major poors or sane. When they opened their cute cottagey L.A. outpost, I happened to be living there and I just went there almost daily. I could not get enough. Suddenly, they launched a line of shoes and my head exploded. I found these adorable gray suede heels in 2007 and had to have them, even though at a size 8 they were too small for me by a full size. Oh well, said the voice in my head, your feet will certainly shrink and these will certainly grow! Right. Anyway, I really, really, hate parting with these since they seem like the sort of amazingly-made, comfy, cute kicks a French New Wave ingenue would run around town in, but maybe they can go to someone they actually fit. They have been worn maybe 4 times, but barely even that, since, due to the sizing prob, I was probably resigned to lounging for most that time.

$100.00 or best offer / size 8 SOLD

A few years ago, when people first went Wayfarer-mad, I did too and in a big way. I just kept buying them and buying them. Here is a relic from that era, barely worn. It’s the original Wayfarer (not the thinner more girly one that everyone knocks off) that still seems to be between $150- $200 on the Ray-Ban site. The frame is that dark tortoise with the lens that brownish-greenish tint. And I cannot tell a lie: it blocks the sun better than anything I’ve ever owned.

$80.00 or best offer SOLD

A fact about me: I hate wrap dresses. They are not for control-freaks. I always fidget and squirm in them and worry they are coming all apart at any sec. But all of you stylish girls seem to love them, esp the O.G. Diane Von Furstenberg ones. Well, here you go! I LOVE this like-new DVF velvet dress, with its shiny whimsical botanicaly-naturey-wildlifey print, more than you can imagine, but to wear it I would have to go to a tailor and say “I HATE WRAP DRESSES, MAKE THIS SOMETHING ELSE.” And that’s just a lot of shouting, you know? Anyway, I just bought this in November at Bloomingdale’s (online) for $345. And I have worn it all of 3 times. Bad move, P!!!

And just FYI: the internets went crazy for it last autumn so here’s a million better photos via google image candy.

$150 or best offer/ size 2 but fits size 4 too

I got this cuter-than-thou lil number in Oxford, MS of all places! Oxford, MS, if you don’t know, is where Faulkner lived and it’s a lovely, rather smarty-pantsy Southern city with great food, great stores, and a great bookstore. I first went there in 1999 for Spring Break from Sarah Lawrence to make a Faulkner pilgrimage (he was my favorite writer) and I met Faulkner’s 77 yr old nephew, Jimmy Faulkner, who said gave me a lip-kiss (a polite one) after hanging out with me for a week and also said “If I were younger by a lot, if you were older by a lot…” And then he wrote me letters for the next year! No joke! I mean, I potentially could have been a Faulkner, people.

Anyway, I got this dress a decade later, when my ex and I did a cross-country driving tour through the South. I found this at an Oxford boutique that seemed to specialize in what chic Southern debutantes would wear. I loved this dress and even wore it last week (worn 4-5 times total) but it’s not very me anymore. Here’s a weird photo of me at my 31st bday party outside a child’s nursery room, back when I was subletting a family of four’s home in Lewisburg, PA (don’t I look oh-so happy?!) Anyway!

$100.00 or best offer / XS (but would totally fit a size small, sizes 2-6, esp if 34B or under)

(I just can’t stop, can I? But trust me, try to get rid of a few of your things, have people actually buy them, and then it’s addiction. But a good one, because I need less stuff!!!)

Many will find this sale controversial because everyone knows how much I LOVE THESE SHOES. And yet I never wear them. They are Jeffrey Campbell and amazingly studded and black leather with a zipper and wedge like whoa, end of story. They are actually very comfy for such high and heavy shoes, but they take a special person. I did wear them to a job interview for my current job (or my last job—just quit this week! those are my feet after the long interview day), a professorial gig if you will believe it, and the students at my job-talk still talk of my shoes one year later. (Oh, and here is a pretty blogger with an terribly-named blog looking oh-so cute in them.)

These have been worn very few times and look good as new. They were $200, but just for you…

$100.00 or best offer/ size 8.5 (I am between 8.5 and 9 so I think it could fit either) SOLD

Heavens to betsy, this clutch is darling! Story unknown, sorry. But if all you want to carry is a lipstick, cred card, keys, and maybe some rose petals, this is the clutch for you. (Pardon my man hands, but I thought you’d want it for scale, until I realized I have super-giant-hands and therefore efforts at scaling are all distorted. Oh well!) Vintage but in perfecto pristino condition with embroidery and gold hardware.

$40.00 or best offer